You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

ALMOST IN Love…

{11}

‘Do you still feel the pain?’ asked Jacob looking at the sling on Ahan’s right hand. He shook his head with a smile.

‘Not at all. My leg is completely fine but the doctor will be removing my arm sling only after two weeks. I am waiting to get back to my skating classes,’ he grinned. They both were seated on a stone bench on the beach.

‘Well, me too. I want to take you out for trekking after a couple of months.’

‘Wow! That’s amazing uncle. Thank you so much,’ beamed Ahan. Jacob caressed the boy’s head and took a deep breath. There was no doubt that he shared an amazing bond with Ahan, but still he was slightly nervous about disclosing the love for his mother. This was a very sensitive issue which had to be handled with extreme care.

‘Ahan, I have something very important to tell you. Although it might shock you, I am confident that you are mature enough to understand. All I want is that you be patient and think over before making a decision. I don’t want you to jump to any conclusions without giving it proper thought. Can you understand what I am trying to say?’

Ahan looked at him in bewilderment. He mutely nodded his head in assent.

‘I am in love with Dhwani and she loves me too. We have decided to get married, but before that we wanted you to be the first one to know about our relationship,’ said Jacob weighing his words carefully. Ahan was stupefied for a moment and later looked away at the roaring waves in the sea. None of them spoke for a few minutes.

‘Are you serious about marrying mom?’ he asked after a prolonged silence.

‘Yes. What do you say?’

‘I need some time.’

‘Alright Ahan, but please don’t judge your mother. She made this decision after a lot of deliberation and I promise to love her and be her companion forever. You mean a lot to both of us and we want you to be a part of this decision. I hope you will understand us,’ said Jacob earnestly. Ahan made no reply and stood up. They both began walking along the beach towards his car.

***

Ahan slowly walked into Dhwani’s room with much hesitation. He did not have to knock on the door because she usually left it open until she went to bed. For a minute, he stood near the threshold and watched not his mother, but the woman who had given him life. In return, she had lost hers while finding happiness in his growth.

What have I done for you? I have only spent some sleepless hours blaming myself for your loneliness. I could do nothing about it… Now Jake uncle says that he loves you and wants to be your companion. Will this decision give you happiness? What should I do? Maybe it’s time I left your life forever, mom…

‘Amma,’ he slowly called out. Immediately Dhwani looked up from her laptop and smiled at him warmly. She had been so engrossed in work that she had lost track of time. Seeing him, she instantly remembered that Jacob would have spoken to him about their relationship. Suddenly, an unfathomable discomfort and apprehension crept into her mind. Ahan went and sat on the bed while she kept her laptop aside. Wordlessly he rested his head on her lap and laid down turning to his left. She gently caressed his head.

‘Shall I bring your dinner here?’ she asked affectionately.

‘No need. I am not hungry, ma.’

Dhwani did not coerce him as usual because she wanted to speak to him as much as he wanted to.

‘Uncle spoke to me…’

‘Hmmm… what did he tell?’

‘He said that you both love each other and he wants to marry you,’ said Ahan bluntly.

‘What do you say?’ she asked doubtfully. He made no reply and continued to stare at the wall. She patiently waited for him to speak, but he did not utter a single word.

‘Anu…’ she called out slowly ruffling his hair.

‘Ma, I should go back to the orphanage,’ he mumbled.

‘Sure dear. Next week we will go and donate books to the kids. I will inform the Manager.’

‘I didn’t mean to go there for doing charity. I should go back forever…’

His voice broke down and Dhwani was flabbergasted.

‘What happened Anu? Who said that you should go back?’ she asked terrified.

‘Nobody, ma. But I don’t want to be a burden to you anymore. You have done so much for me. This is all I can do for you. I don’t want to be a disturbance in your new life,’ he said hoarsely. Unseen by her, a few tears escaped his eyes. Dhwani was overwhelmed by his words. She bent wrapping her arm around his shoulder and kissed his head.

‘Anu, please don’t ever again speak about leaving me. You are the one who gave a meaning to my life. You are my son! How can a son ever be a burden to a mother? I maybe starting a new life but that doesn’t mean that I no longer need you. Jake doesn’t love only me, he loves you too as his son. You will always be our son and we cannot even think about starting a family without you.’

More tears streamed down Ahan’s face. Slowly he sat up and looked at her. Dhwani affectionately wiped his tears and smiled genially.

‘So what do you think about Jake?’

‘Uncle is a really good man. He is too cool and I like him a lot. We’ll rock as a team,’ he said grinning at her.

‘I know,’ she said mirroring his grin. He gave her a one hand hug and she embraced him warmly, patting his back.

‘Don’t worry unnecessarily. Let this be the last time that you consider yourself as a burden to us. You are my reason for life, son.’

Ahan closed his eyes, feeling once again safe and secure in her maternal love. That night there was only one sentence, which was etched forever on his mind.

You are my reason for life, son…

***

Jacob smiled seeing Dhwani’s name flash on his phone screen.

He: Hi darling.

She: Hello Jake. What are you doing?

He: I came out of a meeting with the cameraman and other technicians.

She: Oh okay. Shall I call you later when you are free?

He: Inu, I am never too busy for you. We can talk now, darling.

Dhwani smiled shaking her head.

She: Alright. I just wanted to tell you that I won’t be able to meet you today. We have an emergency meeting in the evening and I am bound to get late. I am so sorry, Jake. Tomorrow, we can meet.

He [rudely]: What for? I am not interested.

She [frowning]: Jake… please try to understand. It is a very important meeting and I cannot miss it.

He: No, you please don’t miss it. You should go, but then you shouldn’t have promised me that you would be spending the evening with me.

She: I was not aware of this meeting. Suddenly the CEO mailed us about an hour ago. I will surely spend time with you tomorrow.

He: Well, I won’t be free. Just because I don’t have a steady job like yours, doesn’t mean that I am always available according to your whims and fancies. Have I ever promised you something and not fulfilled it?

She [sigh]: I said I am sorry.

He: There is no point in repeatedly apologizing. It’s just a waste. Tell me, will you come today or not?

There is pin drop silence for a moment.

She: No.

He: Then even I won’t be coming tomorrow. You are just taking me for granted. Enjoy your evening.

The call was disconnected the next second. Dhwani stood there unable to digest his harsh words. The conversation left her hot and cold. He was so affectionate at the beginning and just after a few moments animosity had saturated his voice.

What is my fault in this? I did not do it intentionally… saying no to him hurts me more than him. Why can’t he understand? I too have other priorities in life and I simply cannot leave them all behind. Why is it so hard being in a relationship? I need my space… Did I commit a mistake?

***

Dhwani closed her laptop and let out a long drawn breath. She had just completed mailing the meeting report of the evening to the CEO. Her mind was exhausted and she impulsively picked up her phone. She craved to see Jacob but the morning conversation had left a sense of uncertainty on her mind. The thought that she had probably rushed into the relationship with him was torturing her. Immediately she opened the gallery on her phone and looked at a selfie that they had taken a couple of days ago. Happiness was twinkling in their eyes and their faces had a radiance of love. Just after two days it had reached a stage were one of them was doubting if she had committed a mistake. She called Lalana.

Lalana: Hello madam! How are you? I am surprised that you remembered to call me today.

Dhwani: I am fine, Lali. Why are you so surprised? I call you often.

Lalana: That was before you fell in love. These days you barely seem to think about me even once in a week.

Dhwani: I am sorry…

Lalana: Hey that’s okay. I was just kidding.

Dhwani: Hmmm…

Lalana: Dhwani, what happened?

Dhwani: …

Lalana: Inu… tell me what is bothering you.

Dhwani: I want to see him.

Lalana: Just give him a call. I am sure that he is still in the same city as yours.

Dhwani: We both had a fight today and he is angry with me.

Lalana: What happened dear?

Dhwani: Well, it is personal and I can’t give out the details. I am freaking out, Lali. Do you think I made the right decision? I am scared that I might have rushed into this relationship…

Lalana: Shut up Inu! You should stop over-thinking. Fights are common in a relationship and you are still at the beginning of one. You both need time to understand each other and in this phase it is quite natural to have misunderstandings. Stop thinking that you rushed into this relationship because I know that you both have thought a lot before making this decision. Just be patient and calm... everything will be fine.

Dhwani: I guess you are right. You take care. Bye, Lali.

Lalana: Take care and call me if your mind starts being crazy. Bye, Inu.

Dhwani disconnected the call with a slight smile. Her best friend understood her too well. She let out a long drawn breath and threw herself on the bed. Speaking to Lalana had given her some peace but she still pined for Jacob. Yet she was clueless about how to mollify him. She spent close to an hour and half staring at the ceiling and recalling every moment she had spent with him from day one. Suddenly a message notification sound broke the silence of the night. She quickly unlocked her phone and read it.

Come to the street corner. Now.

She froze. It was Jacob’s message at 11.45pm. Dhwani’s heart began fluttering with conflicting emotions. She quickly threw a jacket over her kurta and tiptoed out of the house. It was a cold night and the full moon was bright in the sky. Her mind was full of unanswered questions.

Why would he want to meet me now? At midnight??? This is crazy! I shouldn’t have come… or maybe I should. What if he was also having second thoughts about our relationship? Maybe he realized that we are two individuals who are very different from each other and not compatible. I always knew that this was an impossible relationship… Should we break-up?

                                    To be continued...