You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

CHASTE GANGES 

{15}

Nihal stepped into the living room with much hesitation. His younger sister Nilanjali watching TV and he let out a long drawn breath, trying to figure out how to begin a conversation with her. Tonight his parents were out to attend a relative’s wedding reception and he seized the opportunity to speak to her. She had been cold towards him and avoided him in solitude ever since she knew the truth about him. He gingerly sat down on the sofa a little away from her. Immediately she stood up to leave but he quickly held her arm.

‘Let me go,’ she protested trying to free her hand. But she never looked up at him.

‘Nilu please listen to me! Please don’t go,’ he begged her helplessly. She pulled her hand out of his grip but did not go away. She slumped on the sofa with a flushed face.

‘What do you want to say?’ she almost barked. Nihal went down on his knees before her and took her hands in his.

‘I am sorry… I am sorry for hurting you.’

His voice was almost down to a whisper. There was no reason for him to apologize yet those were the first words which stumbled out of his mouth.

‘It doesn’t change anything,’ she said curtly.

‘Please try to understand me. You are having some misconceptions which prevent you from understanding my situation.’

‘You are gay! Which part of this disgusting truth did I not understand?’

Her eyes blazed when she looked down at him. Nihal was stunned to see the hatred in his most loved sister’s face. Nithyayuvani was his sibling but Nilanjali was nothing less than a daughter for him. He felt a lump in his throat and his eyes moistened.

‘I did not choose to be gay…’ he mumbled.

‘Nor did I choose to be your sister. Yet I will have to go through all that embarrassment and shame because of you. Have you ever thought about how appa and amma will be shattered if they get to know about you? How will I even call a gay as my brother?’

‘You always said that I was your hero.’

Nihal’s voice was strained with anguish. She pulled her hands from his hold and stood up.

‘You are right. You were my hero! Not anymore. Don’t have any false hopes that I will continue to love you as before. I can never accept the truth that my brother is gay. I am not Nithya!’

She uttered Nithyayuvani’s name as if it were a profanity and stormed out of the room. He watched her go, still kneeling on the cold hard granite floor.

***

Ronav rolled on to his side and groped the space next to him on the bed. It was empty. He presumed Nithyayuvani had gone to use the restroom and he tried to go back to sleep. When she did not return after a few minutes, he reluctantly opened his eyes. There was a faint light outside the bedroom.

What are you doing, Nithya?

He dragged himself out of the bed and walked towards the kitchen. She was bending over the fridge and frantically searching for something.

‘Hey, what are you looking for? Chocolate ice-cream?’ he asked rolling his eyes. He would certainly not be surprised if her answer was affirmative. She made a noise of disapproval.

‘No! I need lemons,’ she said continuing to search.

‘What? Why do you need lemons at 1.40am?’

‘You won’t understand. Go back to sleep. I will come in a while.’

Her tone was clipped and she was irritated.

‘Are you going to tell me or not? Why do you need the lemons?’ he persisted stubbornly. She pulled out two lemons from the fridge and slammed the door shut.

‘Just leave me alone for some time, will you?’ she yelled impulsively placing a hand on her abdomen. Her face was twisted in pain and anger. Ronav was stumped, unable to make sense of her outburst. She began to pour water into a glass. He slowly walked up to her and turned her around to face him. He slowly caressed her cheek and looked into her eyes. They were glistening with welled up tears.

‘Nithya, what happened?’

She hesitated for a couple of moments and lowered her eyes.

‘I am having my menstrual cramps,’ she said biting her lower lip.

‘Oh,’ he let out a soft expression of surprise. He pulled her into a warm embrace and slowly rubbed her back.

‘What do you do to reduce the pain?’ he asked earnestly.

‘Lemonade works fine,’ she muttered.

He made her sit on the kitchen shelf and took the lemons from her. Stirring the lemonade he glanced at her. She was staring down at the floor with a hand on her hip. For her, he reminded her of her mother who would have done the same for her in times of pain. She swallowed hard and did her best to fight back the tears which threatened to stream down her cheeks. Within the next few minutes he prepared two glasses of lemonade. She sat down on the couch in the living room and took frequent sips of the lemonade. Wordlessly he placed the second glass too on the table and sat down next to her. She leaned against his chest with his arm around her shoulder. The second glass of lemonade was on its way to relieve her of pain.

‘How are you feeling, darling?’ he asked softly.

‘Better.’

‘Does it still hurt?’

‘Yes…’ she mumbled. He kissed her forehead and held her closer. She closed her eyes and waited as the pain was slowly ebbing away.

‘Amma used to prepare lemonade for me at home,’ she said after half an hour.

‘Hmmm… you should have woken me up,’ he said shaking his head.

‘I didn’t want to disturb you and this is not something I could discuss with you at midnight.’

‘Why not, sweetheart? Menstruation is a natural physical process in your life and there is nothing to be ashamed about it. We are living together and I want to take care of you. I cannot see you suffer in pain. Although it is inevitable, at least let me make you feel better. Next time, just tell me. Okay?’

‘Okay.’

She looked up at him and gave him a feeble smile.

‘You are the best and I love you.’

‘I love you too, beautiful.’

He smiled back at her and lovingly rubbed his nose against hers.

***

Nervousness was getting the better of Krishna. He drank some water from his bottle and picked up his phone. Malavika had sent him an email scheduling a private meeting at 11.30am in her cabin. Although the mail spoke nothing about the agenda for such an immediate meeting, he had a very ill feeling about it which did not let him rest in peace. Already he was worked up about finding a new house for rent within the next few days. Otherwise he would have to live in a hotel until he found a place of shelter. He knocked on the door of her cabin and she immediately invited him to come inside.

‘Please have a seat,’ she said politely without looking up from her laptop screen. 

Quietly he sat down while his heart was racing. A couple of moments later she looked up and handed him a letter.

‘This is your one month notice. You have been dismissed from your job.’

Her tone was formal and detached. Krishna’s world shattered right before his eyes. He did not even make an effort to read the letter. Sweat beaded on his forehead and he was almost breathless.

‘Why?’ he croaked. She let out a sigh crossing her arms.

‘Apparently, your house-owner is a distant relative of GM Madhan. He told him about you and your boyfriend. The GM felt it was only right to terminate your services with immediate effect. As per company policy, you have been given the one month notice.’

Krishna felt like killing himself. His life was slowly slipping away through his fingers and he was helpless to do anything about it. Why was it such a crime to be gay in this country? There were hundreds of criminals living happily under the sun while he was being criminalized for no fault of his. Unable to bear the pain, he stood up to leave. He was ashamed to even meet her gaze.

‘Where are you going? This meeting is not over yet. What have you decided?’ she asked him intensely.

‘Do I even have a choice? I have to quit.’

‘Don’t be such a fool, Krish. He cannot fire you just because you are gay. Your sexual orientation should not be a reason to lose your job. It is inhuman! The GM has no rights to dictate how you live. I have already spoken about this issue with the remaining members of the HR team. We have forwarded a mail to the US management as well,’ she said firmly.

He looked at her dumbfounded.

‘What do you mean?’

‘We won’t let you lose your job. If they are going to fire you, then we will resign along with you. We are not going to leave you alone in this fight. They can either have all of us or none!’

Conviction and determination resonated in her voice. Krishna could barely believe what he had just heard.

‘Thank you,’ he said in a shaky voice. She held his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. That small gesture spoke volumes about the changing face of the society.

‘We will get a reply from the US latest by this weekend. Let us just hope that we get a positive response. But don’t forget that we are always here for you.’

Mutely, he nodded his head. He was overwhelmed by what she had done for him. Off late, he had lost all hope of leading a life in this society which mostly displayed hatred and disapproval towards him. Yet today, she had shown him that he could not only get acceptance but also support and love from his own compatriots. There was indeed a silver lining of hope under the dark clouds of hostility.

                         To be continued...