The hardest smile of my life…


It was the hardest smile of my life!

I stood rooted to the spot with the uneasy smile pasted on my face. At the door you turned around to wave at me for one last time before abandoning me to the cruel cage of time.

When will I see you again? It could be days, months or years…

I waved back at you without batting an eyelid. It was my last chance to gaze into those sharp eyes. The uncertainty and pain in your eyes betrayed the smile on your face. Yes, smile! That was all we could do from letting those traitor tears stream down our eyes. Crying was a luxury that we could not afford. You had a flight to catch and time waited for none. Certainly the check-in time punctuality would put even the most precise Swiss watch to shame!

I turned around and walked away the moment you were out of sight. The smile was washed away with the tears kissing my cheeks. You were not coming back, at least not anytime soon. Once again my days would be spent writhing in the fire of separation. The evening sunsets will be lonely without the warmth of your hand on mine. The dinners would be quiet without the music of your laughter. Mornings would mean spending another day lost in your thoughts…

Distance stretches the thread of our bond to the limit where it is just short of breaking with quick snap of a finger. Your pictures are no match to seeing you sitting right across the table. The endless conversations on phone can never replace the blissful silence we share while walking hand in hand. Missing each other is only next to breathing for life.

Why is love so hard?

Life might have been better off without love. Without you! It would be nice to be able to go back to the places we visited together without having the pain stabbing through my heart every single time. I wish I could go about my day without every random thing suffocating me with your memories. I could breathe easy without being choked by your absence. Will I ever get over you? I won’t! And I know it…

Yet I still choose pain over relief. I choose love over life. I choose you over and over again. Those countless days of pain will be washed away the moment I see your smile when you walk back to me. The caged emotions will flow through my eyes when you hold me in your arms at last. You may stay for just a few hours, yet it will suffice to keep the love burning in our hearts. Every single moment we spend will only make me greedy for it to last a lifetime.

Once again you will leave…


I will curse time and wait endlessly for you. The distance will pull us apart, yet keep us close. No matter how long it is, my heart always beats to the rhythm of yours. Again, I will bid you farewell with the hardest smile of my life…


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