When time stood still! 

{1}

Unable to resist the temptation, I dialed her number although I knew that she would not answer my call. Yet, I could not stop myself! As expected, my call went unanswered. I kept the phone aside on my study table and let out a long drawn breath. The clock on the wall showed 11.23 PM. It was late in the night but not late enough for two people in love. For lovers, the night had just begun. For me, the most romantic time in a day was not dusk or dawn. It is the night… Nothing can beat the serenity and comfort of a full moon night. It was that part of a day when time stood still. When everything around you has vanished into the silence of darkness. A time when your deepest desires spread wings to touch the sky. I am a night person and I have always been one. But she was not my type. She did not revel in loneliness like me. Solitude was not something that she romanced. Maybe that was why I fell for Asmi!

The French windows in my bedroom gazed at me in longing. I pushed open the sliding door and went onto my balcony. The warm air of the summer night grazed my cheeks. Looking up at the sky, I slipped out of my t-shirt and flung it on my bed. There was an unusual comfort in letting the breeze caress my upper torso. It was as loving as my mother’s hug. Once again I turned back and looked at my phone. There was no point in calling Asmi again. She would have slipped into a deep slumber. I switched on the radio in that quiet night. It had been a long time since I had listened to the radio during the night. A few years ago, listening to radio at night was something that I did on a daily basis. When a soothing song fills the air, gently sending waves of love into the silence, it touches your soul and kisses your heart…

Was it the old melody playing on the radio or the breeze or my solitude? I don’t know what moved me to pull out my sketchbook and a pencil. The next minute, I was sitting on the floor of my balcony and cartooning a love story. Every now and then, I stared at the moon whose love for me was unwavering. For a couple of hours I had completely forgotten about Asmi or the argument that I had with her that night. I could not remember when was the last time I had spent so much time with myself doing something that I loved with all my heart. At one point of time in my past, cartooning was the air that I breathed every day. Eventually, life happened and my cartoons became one part of my life rather than being life itself. I had lost myself in the mundane routine that I now called life…

Somewhere down the line, I had gifted my love for cartooning to Asmi. Every day I searched her heart to complete my imperfections. I did not realize that my biggest mistake was to substitute my passion with love. The bewildering restlessness inside me only kept growing and almost threatened to ruin the lovely bond that I shared with her. My Asmi, the second love of my life! My first love was and had always been cartooning. Tonight, as I finished cartooning that little love story, I realized that first love is something that you can never replace in a heart. I can never fall out of love with my passion because it is who I am. With a smile of satisfaction, I closed my sketchbook and held it close to my chest. A lone tear slid down my cheek. Discovering myself in darkness of the solitary night made me fall in love with life all over again.

So what if she was the first one to disconnect the call after our fight? I was willing to wait for her call. Or I might just go to her and woo her back. My much needed break from the world had taught me to love myself. Now, I knew better than venting out my frustration on her. That moment, after you have spent time with yourself, changes the way you look at the world. I was lost in my thoughts when my phone began to ring. With a start I looked down at the screen. Her name flashed sending waves of happiness through me.

‘Asmi…’ I breathed into the phone with a smile.

‘I cannot do this anymore, Rudra. There is nothing left between us. It is over.’

Something inside me died the moment she disconnected the call. I held the sketchbook closer to my cold chest. Suddenly, all I had in this world was only my cartoon and tears…

                             To be continued...

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