You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

When time stood still!

{6}

Have you ever heard silence louder than the thunder? Or felt breathless when you could actually hear your heart pounding in the chest? I did. My legs were slowly giving away and I could feel my body swaying towards unconsciousness. But I recovered just before my vision blurred and bolted from the place. I ran for my life. I ran until the waves lashed my knees. I was panting hard and sweating completely. The next moment, I collapsed onto the sand under my feet. The salty waters sprayed on my face with the afternoon sun scorching my skin. Not once did I turn back but I knew that I had come very far from the house. From Asmi. Far enough for her to not see my tears or hear my muted sobs. She did not have to see that I was still affected by her presence. She did not have to know that I was still tortured by her memories…

Asmi knew it was Rudra even from a distance. She was prepared to meet him. The day she knew that Nisha was going to marry Kunal, she was shocked. But slowly she made peace with the reality. She knew that some day she would have to meet Rudra. Gingerly, she had taken steps towards him while he was gazing at the beach. Instinctively, she knew that he was heading towards the beach. Fleeting memories of their long walks on the beach flashed before her eyes. But her heart no longer skipped a beat for him. Those memories were just events of the past which she had buried deep inside her heart. Yet they surfaced once in a while bringing back the dull pain which she had got used to. She did not know how he would react on seeing her but certainly she was not prepared to see him run away from her.

Kunal was surprised when he saw Asmi instead of Rudra. Immediately he looked around but he could not find his dear friend.

‘He ran away,’ she said plainly.

‘What!? Where did he go?’ he asked in a worried tone.

‘He ran towards the beach… Didn’t you tell him that I was Nisha’s cousin?’

He quietly shook his head.

‘Why didn’t you tell him?’

‘He would not have come here, Asmi.’

Somebody called out for Kunal and he went back inside the house. She did not miss the apology and accusation in his look. For a couple of moments, she stood there gazing at the beach. The mild sound of waves lashing the shore was indeed soothing. She wished that Rudra was informed earlier about her presence at the wedding. Turning around, she walked back to the house allotted for the bride and her relatives. But Kunal’s hesitation and Rudra’s reaction only proved one thing.

Rudra still loved her.

***

The tears on my cheeks had dried long ago along with my wet clothes. I was now sitting on the dry beach sand. The sky in front of me was painted with the vibrant hues of a lovely sunset. The romantic evening stirred no emotions in my heart saturated with pain and shame.

Why did I run away from her? I had not even stood there until she was close enough to see my face. What was she thinking when she started walking towards me? Did she know that I was at this wedding? Was she attending this wedding or did she see me purely by chance? Why did she…

Questions were buzzing through my head like a swarm of bees. I closed my eyes and shook my head a couple of times foolishly hoping that the questions would be chased out of my mind. But they simply kept buzzing giving me no respite. I simply gave up and sat there as the sun went down the sea. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. Still, the sunset that I had watched holding Asmi’s hand was the best one in my life. Damn! All these days, I was fooling myself that I was slowly moving on. But today, all that farce was proven a lie. I was still at the same place in life where she had left me. Suddenly, a shiver ran down my spine.

Does she still love me?

What if she has really moved on in life?

I swallowed hard. I wanted the answers. I didn’t want the answers. Honestly, I did not know what I wanted! The twilight had enveloped the sea and was spreading its arms towards the land. Without any resistance, I let myself be embraced by the warm sea breeze. Nobody had yet come in search of me. Kunal understood that I wanted to be left alone. Did he know that Asmi would be attending his wedding? Even if he did, he would never have told me. I simply stretched myself out on the beach and looked up at the sky. There were numerous stars twinkling in dark blue sky with a modest moon in the corner. Seconds, minutes and probably even hours passed as I was star-gazing. I had completely lost track of time. That is when I heard the faint footsteps. For a moment, I was terrorized assuming that it was Asmi.

‘Hey,’ called out a female voice.

It certainly did not belong to Asmi, which was a relief. Turning to my left, I saw a young woman walking towards me. She was dressed in a sleeveless top and a knee length cotton skirt. Her features where not very clear in the moon light but she was lean and sported a short haircut. I sat up out of courtesy as she neared me.

‘Hi,’ I said with a weak smile.

She sat down next to me and stretched out her legs.

‘Are you here to attend the wedding?’ she asked pointing back towards the house which was now lit up with lights.

‘Yes. I am Kunal’s friend.’

‘Oh, so you are the bridegroom’s friend. By the way, I am the bride’s cousin.’

We shook hands and once again began staring at the sea.

‘So, what are you doing here? Don’t you want to be with your friend during his final hours of bachelorhood?’

I did not answer her question because I was afraid that I might just blurt out the truth.

‘What are you doing here alone? Don’t you want to enjoy the final hours of spinsterhood of your cousin?’

‘Well… I was with her since yesterday but the rituals today were simply endless and there was no fun. Nisha is already surrounded with too many people and I am sure that she would not even notice that I have been missing for a couple of hours. I wanted to enjoy the sunset on the beach. So, I took a long walk along the coastline and came back,’ she said letting out a long-drawn breath.

Her company did intrude into my solitude but it was actually comforting. It was nice to be around a woman who did not make your heart skip a beat. Maybe I really wanted to talk to someone after hours of silence. But we sat in silence for a while.

‘Oh, it is 7.30 already! I got to go,’ she said looking at her wrist watch.

She stood up to leave and dusted the sand from her skirt.

‘Are you not coming?’

Maybe I would have stayed longer there if she had not asked me. But again, I could not stay there forever and hope that Asmi would vanish into thin air. I had to face her at some point. I had to face life. And it sure was not going to be easy. Slowly, I stood up and dusted the sand out of my jeans. We both began walking towards the wedding house. I made a mental note that I desperately needed a shower and change of clothes.

‘What do you do?’ she asked breaking the silence.

‘I am a cartoonist and a graphic designer.’

She stopped in her tracks and took a closer look at me. The way she peered at me, was indeed weird and awkward. And the realization that I was looking my worst at that moment was certainly not helping my self-confidence.

‘What is your name?’ she asked softly.

‘Rudra,’ I whispered back.

‘Oh my God!

She was stunned. But why? Her reaction completely puzzled me.

‘What happened?’ I asked in an alarmed tone.

‘Nothing. I really have to go now,’ she said and breezed across me towards the house. 

She neither waited for me nor did she look back at me even once. I could not understand what scared her away from me.

The festivities and rituals were in full swing at the wedding house. But I did not go inside. I went to the house where I was given a room to stay. Andrew was holding a bowl of semi-solid food and feeding Angel while she was running around in the house.

‘Hey Rudra,’ he greeted but there was no smile on his face. His eyes moved from my disheveled hair to soiled feet.

‘You really need a wash,’ he said shaking his head.

I simply gave him a nod a walked into my room.

***

Niranjana had changed into a silk salwar kameez and neatly draped the dupatta over her slender shoulders. She did not spend much time on her make-up and kept it minimal. Her short haircut resembled that of princess Diana in the nineties. It had been a year since she had cut her wavy locks and donated her hair to a cancer foundation. Her mother had almost survived a heart-attack when she saw her daughter return home with hair so short that she looked more like a son than a daughter. It took her weeks to get used to seeing Niranjana walk around with short hair. But the young lady sported it with so much grace that very soon people actually began praising her new look.

Nisha’s face was glowing with the turmeric applied on her cheeks. A wide smile constantly adorned her face. Niranjana knew that her cousin was indeed very happy with this marriage. Kunal was a nice gentleman and she was convinced that they would indeed make a lovely couple. Looking around, she found Asmi talking to a couple of aunts. Niranjana went to them and managed to get Asmi out of the hall.

‘Hey, what happened Niru?’ asked an unsuspecting Asmi.

‘He is here,’ she said making sure that nobody was listening to them.

‘Who?’

‘Your ex, Mr Rudra, the cartoonist and graphic designer!’

‘I know. I saw him in the afternoon,’ she said with a stoic expression.

‘What?! Did you talk to him?’

She shook her head and let out a sigh.

‘He bolted even before I went close enough to talk to him.’

‘Didn’t Kunal tell him that you would be here?’ asked Niranjana with a frown.

‘No… He might not have come here if he had known that I would be attending this wedding.’

‘Are you going to talk to him?’ she asked hesitantly.

‘I have to talk to him. You know that I have to,’ replied Asmi and walked back into the hall.

Niranjana had least expected Rudra to run away from Asmi. Probably it was better if they both had not met under these circumstances. Niranjana loved her cousin too dearly and knew what she was going through. Things might not have been so complicated if Asmi and Rudra were only two ex-lovers. Maybe, there could have been chances of a reunion for the broken hearts. But now, he was still not over his love while she was at the threshold of a new beginning. Yes, Asmi had found a man who had gone all out to claim her heart. 

                 To be continued...