You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

The last goodbye…?

‘We always knew that it would never work out between us, didn’t we?’ she asked forcing a smile on her face. Krishna simply nodded his head and looked ahead at the beach. It was a starry night with the full moon shining bright in the sky. He could see the high tides in the ocean and the angelic white waves lashing the shore. They both were sitting on the cool sand without facing each other. They were close enough to feel each other’s warmth but conscious enough not to let their hands touch. Once again there was a painful silence between them.

‘Why did you want to see me today? I remember you telling that you didn’t want to see me again,’ he said bitterly. Dhyuti bit her lip and swallowed his hatred. It was not entirely true. She had actually yelled that she did not want to see his face again. She turned to her left, facing further away from him.

‘I thought we owed each other one last goodbye. We broke up over the phone but somehow it was just not enough…’ she said looking at the lighthouse in the distance. 

Krishna clenched his fists and crossed his arms over his bent knees. It moved him away from her. This was how it had always been. They both fought almost every other month, but they realised that their relationship was almost dead when they did not speak to each other for almost four months after a very nasty fight. Later one day, she called him and they both decided that it was all over between them. A relationship of over three years was over in a less than three minutes conversation.

‘I am leaving for Australia next Monday,’ he said as a matter of fact.

‘I know. I saw your Facebook status. That is why I wanted to meet you today.’

‘To say our final goodbyes?’ he asked with his gaze fixed on the waves. The waves never seemed to tire. Although they got nothing from the shore, they kept coming back only to return everything that had been swept away.

‘Yes. This could be the last time we might be seeing each other,’ she said wryly. He did not fail to notice the sliver of hope in her voice.

‘This is the last time, Dhyuti. I am not coming back,’ he said brusquely. He knew that his words would hurt her but he did not even bat an eyelid while uttering them. She felt a knife pierce through her heart. He could sense her body stiffen. That moment he regretted his words but it was too late. Their relationship had not just soured but it had turned toxic. A gush of cool wind blew over them and she shivered slightly. On other days, his hands would have reflexively wrapped around her, but not today. He was glad that he had already clenched his fists. It was hard enough that he had to use every ounce of his self-control to not touch her. She wrapped her arms around herself with the memory of his warm embrace almost suffocating her.

They often fought over trivial things and argued a lot. Ego was a monster always lurking in the background. It had been over seven months since their breakup. She wanted to call him on many occasions in those seven months. He had almost called her every other day but stopped himself just before touching the call icon below her number. Both of them knew that the other would not call but every time the phone rang, her heart skipped a beat. At last, when she got to know that he was leaving for Australia, she could not stop herself from calling him.

‘What have you been up to?’

Krishna’s question was more out of regret than curiosity.

‘I am getting engaged next month,’ she said in formal tone. It was as if she was commenting on the weather.

He stopped breathing for a moment. Suddenly, all he could hear was his own heartbeat. A large wave crashed on the shore and that was when he came back to his senses. Dhyuti consciously avoided looking at him because she did not have to see what he was going through, she knew it.

‘Congratulations.’

What the separation of 7 months, 24 days and 18 hours could not do, that single word did it. The pieces of her heart that she had been holding onto for so long, shattered quietly. Once again, there was a prolonged silence.

‘Don’t you want to know about him?’ she asked softly. He just shook his head. Krishna wanted to know nothing about the man in her life. He did not want to know why she wanted to marry him or rather why she had chosen him. Somethings were better left unsaid.

‘What do you think was the most beautiful moment in our relationship?’

Dhyuti turned towards him for an answer. His 2-day old stubble was as alluring as ever. That moustache over his lips reminded her of the way it tickled her cheeks when he kissed her. His broad forehead was creased into a frown like it always did when he was deep in thought. Her eyes lingered longer on his eyes which were still gazing at the waves. She had fallen in love with him every time she gazed at his sharp eyes. Once again she was falling in love…

‘I love the moments when we reconcile after every fight. It made me believe that no matter what, we will come back to each other at the end of it. I thought nothing could tear us apart. And…’

Slowly he turned around and looked into her eyes. Dhyuti melted under his gaze. She had no idea that he still had such a strong hold on her. He was staring at her with such intensity that it set her insides on fire. Krishna was not ignorant to the effect he had on her.

‘And?’ she asked almost breathless with her throat going dry.

‘The kiss after a fight was always so passionate that it left me aching for more. That moment, I knew, I could never love anyone the way I loved you. I am yours and you are mine forever.’

Quickly, he turned his face away from her. He shut his eyes tight for a couple of seconds and then opened them.  Krishna could not stop himself from saying it, he was helpless. But he cursed himself for being so vulnerable. He took a deep breath and stood up.

‘I think we should leave. It is late,’ he said dusting the sand off his jeans. Dhyuti slowly stood up and slipped her feet into her sandals.

‘It is already too late,’ she said wryly. He pretended to ignore her words. She was fighting back her emotions and her years of determination came in handy to stop her from collapsing into his arms.

‘All the best, Krishna,’ she said evenly and outstretched her hand.

‘Have a good life,’ he said shaking her hand gently. Her hand was cold and he held it for a moment longer than necessary. Without wasting another moment, she turned to leave. She did look back at him even once and began walking. Tears that had been imprisoned in her eyes, broke free and rolled down her cheeks.

‘Dhyui!’ he called out suddenly. Impulsively, she turned around, forgetting that her face was strewn with tears. He strode up to her and let out a long drawn breath in defeat.

‘I can’t do this! I simply can’t let this be our last goodbye. It is killing me to know that you are going to marry someone else. How can I let you go? All these months I was waiting for your call every single day! I kept checking your last seen on WhatsApp every few minutes. I am sorry! I am an idiot, I should have called you. I have been such a fool to think that I can live without you once I leave this place. But I was wrong! I was so damn wrong. No matter where I go, it is not going to help. I simply don’t know how to live without you. I don’t wan—’

Her lips were hot and demanding on his even before he finished. He held her face and pulled her closer. It was a deep and passionate kiss washing away their egos with the white waves of the ocean. They were breathless when she broke the kiss.

‘I don’t want to lose you,’ he breathed.

‘I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have accepted that marriage proposal.’

He laughed against her lips.

‘Its okay darling. This is how crazy we are! We make stupid decisions because we go mad without each other.’

‘I love you, Krish,’ she said softly.

‘I love you, always and forever.’

Krishna smiled kissing her forehead. She looked up at him with a serious expression on her face.

‘Please let’s never fight. I just cannot bear to leave you.’

‘Of course not! We should fight like we always do,’ he said firmly.

‘But why?’ she asked frowning at him.

‘Because it always reminds us that we belong to each other. No matter what, nothing can tear us apart. It bolsters our belief that we cannot live without each other. Moreover I love our make-up kiss after every fight,’ he said winking at her. Once again their lips met like the waves kissing the shore…