You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

A Few Moments of Silence…

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After what seemed like an eternity, the vehicles in the front began to move forward in a painfully slow pace. He was glad that at least they had started to move. Later he discovered the reason for the abrupt halt of vehicles. A huge tree had been uprooted and it took the authorities more than an hour to clear the obstruction out of the way. Without thinking further, he rode as fast as or rather as slow as the waterlogged roads let him ride. It was 11.20pm when he reached his 2BHK flat. Yet today, when he turned his key in the keyhole and opened the door, it truly felt like home. He felt a comforting warmth which gently caressed his wet body.

Abhimanyu’s hopes were crashed when he saw that the lights were turned off in the house.

She must be asleep. Every day I had a chance of coming early but I always chose to come late. Today I tried so much but I couldn’t make it…

Instead of going into his study as usual, he slowly walked towards the bedroom. He was a little surprised that the door was not locked from inside when he noiselessly tried to open it. All the lights had been switched off except the small lamp on the table near the bedpost and there was a book on it. He switched on the other light in the room. He was shocked when he could not find her in there. Immediately he went around the house switching on all the lights. She was nowhere in the house.

‘Madhu… Madhu where are you?’

He called out a couple of times but got no reply.  A strange anxiety gripped his heart. He removed his wet blazer and picked up his mobile phone. The very moment his call got connected, he could hear the phone ring from inside the bedroom. Rushing into the room once again, he found her phone lying on the bed.

Where are you, Madhu?

Abhimanyu checked her call log list. The last call she had received was from her friend Asha. But that was more than two hours ago. Once again he frantically searched for her in the house. He stood in the living room drawing blank on what to do next. He ran his hands over his face.

Where have you gone? Where am I going to search for you?

Without wasting another minute, he pocketed both the phones and picked up his bike keys. He locked the house and rushed into the elevator. On reaching the ground floor, he enquired the two security guards about Madhuvanti. Luckily on his phone, he had one of her pictures which was taken during their wedding.

‘Madam came home as usual at 6.30pm, Sir. She greets me every day when she enters through the gates,’ said the guard confidently.

‘Are you sure you didn’t see her leave after that?’ asked Abhimanyu concerned.

‘No Sir. I am absolutely sure. I have not moved from here since 6pm. Moreover madam greets me with a smile every time. People here only see me as a servant or a prop at the gate. She is the only one who treats me as a person and respects me. How can I miss seeing her, if she had walked out?’ he said politely. Abhimanyu felt a lump in his throat when he saw the admiration and respect the man had for his wife.

He is not related to her in any way, yet he respects her. I am her husband, but what have I done for her?

‘Is everything alright Sir?’ asked the guard hesitantly.

‘I didn’t find her in the house. I called her but she has left her phone at home,’ he said meekly. The guard was shocked to hear his words but he regained his composure soon.

‘Sir I think you have to look for her in the apartment block. Although I am certain that I didn’t see her go out, I will go and search for her in the nearby areas. She used to visit a temple and a park on the parallel road. If I find her, I will immediately call you.’

They exchanged their phone numbers and the guard immediately set out holding an umbrella. It was still raining and Abhimanyu was unmindful of getting wet. His heart was racing and a few tears had already escaped his eyes. He ran his hand through his hair and strode towards the small garden in the apartment. Neither was she there nor in the swimming pool area. He ran around like a mad man calling out for her. His voice was not carried far due to the rain and thunder. At one point his legs gave in and he went down on his knees. There was no phone call from the guard yet. He buried his face in his hands and let the rain wash away his tears. Never before had he shed tears like that. Despair and helplessness were exploding his head. Once again he stood up and decided to go back home and see if she had come. His heart was fervently hoping to find her there.

Abhimanyu opened the door with trembling hands and his heart sank when he saw the empty house. He meticulously searched every nook and corner but she was not there. He collapsed on the floor and laid there for some time. He was completely drained out. Slowly he pulled out her phone and aimlessly searched through the folders. There were pictures of their wedding, her parents, his parents, her friends, her office colleagues and some of his individual pictures. There were some more pictures which were taken along with a few children who looked faintly familiar. A few moments later he realised that those kids belonged to their apartment block. Suddenly one picture made him sit upright and take note of it.

I searched everywhere inside the compound except on the terrace…

Once again he locked the house and rushed to the terrace. He had come up there only a couple of times when they had initially moved into that flat. It was huge terrace with some potted plants. There were also a few benches and a few lights fixed on the compound wall. There was an incessant drizzle. He stepped onto the terrace and breathlessly looked around. Life was knocked out of Abhimanyu…

There she was! She was sitting on the hard terrace with her knees folded up. Her arms were wrapped around her knees and she rested her face on them. Her eyes were closed and she was drenching in the rain. Relief and pain washed over him. Words failed him and he silently thanked God. His completely exhausted limbs found a life of their own and began taking small steps towards her. Abhimanyu went and knelt down in front of her.

‘Madhuvanti…’

Instantly she opened her eyes and stared at him in disbelief. He looked pathetic in soiled wet clothes. For a moment they stayed that way looking at each other.

‘At last you came searching for me,’ she said in a lifeless tone.

‘What are you doing here? I searched for you everywhere,’ he said shaking his head.

‘Since when?’

‘Ever since I came back home. I am running around for more than an hour,’ he rued. She gave him a wry smile.

‘And you are already exhausted? Then I should have been dead by now, because I have been searching for my husband ever since I stepped into this place,’ she said curtly. Her words cut through his conscience.

‘Every night I have been waiting for you, but you never came looking for me. You never even gave a thought about at least letting me know when you would return. I anxiously stayed awake just to hear you walk into the house.’

Abhimanyu looked at her astounded.

‘You have been staying awake every night?!!’

‘I stay awake every night until you come back home. I close bedroom door only when I hear the click of the key on the main door. You wanted a life as a bachelor and this is what I had to do, to fulfil your wish,’ she said softly.

He looked at her dumbstruck. Not once had it struck him that she could have been awake behind that closed door, waiting for him. His mother used to stay awake until he reached home, but she made no bones about making him realise that his late arrivals were giving her sleepless nights. It had always invoked a sense of guilt when he saw his mother’s sleepy face at the door. But what Madhuvanthi was doing had left him speechless. She had taken so much trouble in keeping him away from any sense of regret or guilt while he indulged himself in his passion.

‘I was so worried today. It has been raining for hours and I was just hoping that you make it home soon. But I could not stay in that lonely house. I came up here and simply shut myself to the outside world. I lost track of time and for some time it numbed the pain,’ she mumbled.

Suddenly she remembered something and looked up at him eagerly.

‘How did your presentation go?’ she asked anxiously.

‘How did you get to know about it?’ he asked incredulously.

I certainly don’t remember telling you!

Madhuvanti stood up and gave him her hand. He held it and stood up. The rain had reduced to a faint drizzle. She smiled at him genially.

‘You mentioned about it once during breakfast, two weeks ago,’ she said casually.

‘And you remembered it?’ he asked meekly.

‘How can I forget? It was so important and I know how much it means to you.’

Abhimanyu closed his eyes in pain.

How self-centred have I been?

He ran his hand through his wet hair and slowly opened his eyes.

‘It is your birthday today and I didn’t remember it. Ma had to call me to remind! Yet you are here asking me about my presentation! Honestly I don’t even remember mentioning it to you. I am certain that I might have said it just once, that too so many days ago. I am sorry—’

Madhuvanthi raised her hand to stop him.

‘You don’t have to say those words again. I have already heard them from you, the very moment I stepped into that room for the first time,’ her voice shook as she completed her sentence.

‘It is not wrong to chase your dreams but is it right to leave behind your loved ones, so that you are not obliged to spend time with them? It really tore me up when you said that our marriage was a burden. Is this how a marriage works? I ask myself this question every time you leave home in a hurry without looking up at me even once.’

Abhimanyu gazed at her eyes for the first time. She was indeed a lovely woman with an understated elegance. It was a moment of realization that she belonged to him as much as he belonged to her. She had been more than a wife, but he had been a mere stranger to her emotions and feelings.

‘I always thought that reaching my goal meant life. I was wrong. I kept running to reach the place where I could sit down and let myself breathe, be happy, and enjoy life! I failed to realize that happiness is not a destination but the journey itself. Trying to catch my dream, I let life slip away from my hands…’

As he said those words, a heavy burden was lifted off his chest. The rejection of his project no longer hurt him as much as it did in the evening. Madhuvanthi quietly looked at her husband pour his heart out. This was the man with whom she had almost fallen in love before wedding and the one who had broken her heart after the wedding! She pretended to the outside world that she was indeed living a happy and content life. But the truth was that most of the time she had spent either waiting for him or worrying about him. Even today she kept checking her phone every few minutes to see if he had at least left her a Happy Birthday message. It was a torture to love and not to be loved…

‘I love you,’ he said deeply. Madhuvanti had yearned every moment to hear those words. She embraced him and he wrapped his arms around her. It was a moment of sheer euphoria. On the cold and wet night, they melted into each other’s warmth. Abhimanyu had gained something more valuable than his ambition. Rather, it was priceless!

‘I tried buying you a gift but the rain played a spoilsport and ruined my plans,’ he said sheepishly after releasing her from his embrace. She let out a tinkling laugh and shook her head.

‘You have already given me the best gift,’ she said intensely. Abhimanyu gazed into her eyes with an untold longing. They shared a few moments of silence filled with pleasure.

‘Happy Birthday, love,’ he said in his deep voice which sent shivers down her spine. He bent down and kissed his wife passionately.

Every relationship will see the dawn of love someday, all you need is some patience and a few moments of silence. A dream is meant to be chased but not at the cost of your loved ones. When you catch your dream you need someone to celebrate it with. One the same lines, if you fail you need someone to hold your hand. No matter what you achieve or lose, your loved ones will never stop loving you…

                              The End