You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

ALMOST IN Love…

{9}

Dhwani closed her eyes and a tear slipped down her cheek. Even before he could wipe that tear she took a few steps back. Jacob stood there with his hand hanging in the air for a few moments. Slowly she opened her eyes and wiped the lone tear kissing her cheek.

‘This is not love, Jake. You are just sympathizing with me and I don’t want that. I want us to be good friends forever, please don’t ruin it,’ she said softly.

‘This is not sympathy or pity, Dhwani. I don’t give a damn about what you think but please don’t label my love as sympathy,’ he said brusquely. She was startled by the change in his tone of speech. Clearly, he was enraged by her words and she could sense it.

‘Please Jacob, try to understand me. I like the way we are now… anything beyond this will not work out between us. You are confusing courtesy with love.’

For a moment, Jacob was stoic with clenched fists. Suddenly he moved forward and pulled her closer to him. The next moment his lips were crushing hers under unbridled passion. Dhwani was too stunned to even breathe. She neither kissed him back nor pushed him away. Brashly breaking the kiss, he released her as abruptly as he had held her.

‘I call this love but you can call it courtesy, sympathy, pity… any goddamn thing on earth! I don’t care. I love you and I mean it!’ he said intensely. The next second he briskly walked away from her, without looking back. More tears streamed down her cheeks. For a fraction of the moment she wanted to rush back into his arms and not let him go. That feeling barely lasted a breath and once again she was engulfed in immense pain. There was not even an iota of doubt in her mind that he truly loved her but she could not fathom her own feelings for him. At the end, there was just one thought which remained etched on her mind.

We can never be a couple…it’s just impossible!

***

‘You are an idiot, Inu!’ admonished Lalana. Dhwani continued to stare at the horizon, unfazed.

‘This is insanity. You cannot stay single for your entire life. Jacob is an extremely good man and he loves you only after knowing everything about you. Nothing stays hidden from him. He has confessed his love and wants to marry you. I don’t see any rational reason as to why you should not consider his proposal.’

‘Please stop talking about him. I rejected his love and it is over. Drop it,’ said Dhwani letting out a sigh.

‘No Inu! It is not over yet. Just answer my question. Don’t you like him?’

‘I do, otherwise why would I be his friend?’

‘Will you please stop calling him your friend? We both know that he means more than a friend to you. Not even once didn’t it occur to you that he could be your life partner? That you both can indeed live together?’

Dhwani did not answer her question and swallowed hard. Lalana was mercilessly asking her the questions which she did not have the courage to answer.

‘How does it even matter, Lali? What is the point in talking about something which I know will never happen?’

‘It is not something impossible to happen. All it needs is for you to take the next step. Just say yes to him, Inu. Your life will change for the better,’ said Lalana in an almost beseeching tone.

‘I can’t believe that you think this is reasonable. He deserves someone better than a divorced mother of a teenager. He is yet to begin his family life, Lali! Whereas there is nothing much of it left for me other than my son. It will be very selfish of me to get into a relationship with him. It is better if I end this right here…’ she said looking away from her.

‘You are just being plain stupid! Why do-’

Dhwani’s mother walked onto the terrace and they had to abruptly stop their discussion.

‘Jacob has come,’ she announced.

‘We will come down, ma,’ said Dhwani casting a glance at Lalana.

It was just last night that I turned down his proposal and today he lands up at my doorstep! What is going to happen now? How am I even going to face him? This is not good…

‘Behave as usual,’ whispered Lalana while climbing down the stairs.

‘I will try,’ she whispered back.

Jacob was laughing with Ahan in his room. He seemed to be at ease with the boy and they shared a good rapport with each other. Dhwani quietly entered the room with Lalana but he did not look up at them even once.

‘Hi Jacob,’ greeted Lalana trying not to sound awkward.

‘Hi Lalana! How are you?’ he asked her politely.

‘I am fine, thank you. How are you doing?’

‘I am doing great. Fortunately, I took a break from work today and came to meet one of my best friends,’ he said pointing at Ahan. Not once did he look at Dhwani, but she kept stealing glances at him. Except her, the other three occupants of the room engaged in a casual banter for some time. Later Jacob took leave from them and walked into the living-room. He interacted with Dhwani’s parents cordially for a few minutes. When he reached his car, he heard her call him and unwillingly turned to look at her.

‘Thank you for coming, Jake. Anu seems very happy in your company.’

‘You don’t have to thank me for doing something I like. I consider him my friend and care for him,’ he said bluntly without making any eye contact with her. Dhwani shifted uneasily on her foot and fidgeted with her fingers. She had not come there only to thank him.

‘About yesterday… I am sorry if I have hurt you,’ she said softly.

‘Okay. Anything else?’ he asked curtly. His indifference made her wince. Even if he had shown some anger it would have been a sign that she did matter to him, but his cold response hurt her.

‘Jacob please, can we go back to being good friends?’

It was a helpless plea. Anger flashed in his eyes when he looked at her.

‘I have no interest in being just your “good friend”. I want to have you in my life every single day, forever. I love you with all my heart, whereas you have no idea how I wish to fill every moment with happiness for you. Even now, your puppy eyes are killing me and I want to pull you into a tight embrace. With passion overwhelming me, I cannot pretend to be just a friend. Either you can have me as both your best friend and life partner or as nobody. The choice is yours,’ he said bitterly and got into his car. Within the next minute he sped away from her and vanished from her eyes.

I want to have you in my life every single day, forever… I want to pull you into a tight embrace… or as nobody. The choice is yours…

Jacob’s words rang in her ears loud and clear.

Can I see him as nobody?

The very thought suffocated her because she had got so used to having him in her life that now it was impossible to see him as a stranger. Somewhere deep down she really wished that he would continue to be a part of her life forever.

***

‘Do you really want to go?’ asked Bharni once more for the fourth time. Jacob only nodded his head.

‘Jake, I think you are making a decision in haste. You have to stay here at least until you finish the pre-production work for your second movie. Only then you will be able to start the shoot on time. Delaying it unnecessarily is plain stupidity.’

‘I know what I am doing. Anyway I plan to complete the pre-production work in Bangalore. It will need some extra paperwork to be done but I will handle it. I can no longer stay here,’ said Jacob rubbing his forehead. Bharni went and sat down beside him on the couch.

‘Maybe you should be patient for some more time. She could change her mind,’ he said rubbing Jacob’s shoulder.

‘I can’t stand her denial. It’s killing me. I can see in her eyes that she too has feelings for me but she is never going to accept it. Every single day is a torture and I am losing my mind over her. Staying in the same city and pretending to be alright is simply not possible anymore,’ he said dropping his face into his hands.

‘I am leaving this weekend. Just book my ticket,’ said Jacob finally. Bharni quietly shook his head booked the ticket on his phone. After his ticket was reserved, Jacob took out his phone and sent a message to Dhwani.

I am leaving on 16^th at 6.30pm by train. I am not coming back. Take care of yourself and Ahan. I love you.

                                  To be continued...