You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

She deserves better…

It was a lovely evening with the promise of rain. The dark heavy clouds were on the verge of giving birth to tiny droplets of life. I stared at the sky, but the blue was missing. Our minds work in a very strange way. Most of the days when the sky is clear, I don’t even care to glance up at it. Yet today, when it is completely covered with clouds I am craving to see a patch of blue. I pulled hard at the cigarette and let out rings of smoke into the gloomy atmosphere. I was rethinking my decision.

Maybe I should not have done this. Shall I call him and tell him to cancel the arrangement? But I have already paid him the money. Bastard! He only knows the language of money… Never mind! Let me at least get the benefit of spending Rs 5000.

I have been married to Suhasini for 13 years. We have a 10-year old son Bhuvan, whom we both adore. I am an investment banker and she is a HR Manager. Between work, Bhuvan and house chores, Suhasini could barely spend time with me. Initially, we both made efforts to take time off for each other at least once a week. As years passed, desire was replaced by duty. We are together, living in the same house, sharing a bedroom, yet we are miles apart. I am not a monk and I have my needs. I could have talked to Suhasini, tried to sort out our issues. But I did not know how to do it. I swear that I do not want an affair. This was going to be just a one-night stand.

The door-bell rang. I stubbed the cigarette in the ash tray and went to open the door. There she was, the prostitute of my night. She was tall, fair, with lovely curves and kohl-rimmed eyes. She had draped a deep red chiffon sari which set off her skin tone beautifully. Her beauty deepened my guilt.

‘I am Rekha,’ she said in a soft voice and a playful smile.

‘Hi,’ I said and led her inside with an awkward smile. I locked the door securely before walking back into the hotel room. It was a comfortable room with a king-sized bed, two sofas and a small table. 

There was a balcony which gave the view of a city bustling with life. She stood at the sofa, staring hard at me. There was neither seduction nor hatred, just plain curiosity.

‘What is your name?’ she asked narrowing her eyes.

I frowned at her, unsure if I should tell her the truth. There was something very familiar about her unusual request. A voice that had been long forgotten in the vicious network of acquaintances that I had made over the years.

‘Athish Ranjan Mishra,’ I said at last.

She sat down on the sofa laughing at me. I frowned at her.

‘It is indeed you, Athish! I simply cannot believe it. You have gained some weight at last,’ she said in the same familiar tone.

I have heard this voice before. Why the hell can’t I remember?

‘My suspicions were aroused the moment I saw the dimple on your left cheek, yet I wanted to confirm before jumping to any conclusion.’

I stood rooted to the spot. My brain still could not find any Rekha whose features or voice matched hers.

‘Don’t you know me?’ she asked a little hopeful. I shook my head in ignorance.

‘How would you, when I cannot recognize myself anymore? I am Shakuntala, your neighbour and school classmate.’ She said with a wry smile.

Breath was knocked out of me. Of course I knew her! She was my dear friend for a really long time. My childhood was incomplete without her. At one point in my life, not a single day passed without us spending hours together. Impulsively, I gave her a broad smile of recognition. But that momentary smile was washed away from my face when realization hit me hard.

Shakuntala was engaged in the flesh trade. My best friend was a prostitute?!

I slumped on the bed in shock. Words failed me, tears were at the door-step of my eyes.

‘What happened Shakuntala? Why did you…?’

I could not find the courage to finish my question.

‘You left the village after your father got transferred to Faridabad. After that, we never met. You knew my family’s situation. Being the eldest daughter to my poor parents, I did not have any chance at further education. I was married off to a businessman in Mumbai. He turned out to be a gambler and an alcoholic. He turned me into a prostitute to help his business grow. I gave birth to a daughter who is now studying in a boarding school. My husband died leaving behind only debt. The only profession which helped me was prostitution. My daughter should not suffer the same fate as mine. So I made this a living to give her a chance at good life,’ she said letting out a sigh.

Her words tugged at my heart. I still remember the way she ran around the playground with her carefree laughter. It had been 23 years since I last saw her. Was it really that long? Why didn’t I even try to find her all these years? I swallowed hard with moistened eyes.

‘My story is tragic Athish, but what brought you here? I cannot believe that you wanted the pleasure of a prostitute. What happened? You don’t like your wife?’

Impulsively, I shook my head before answering.

‘Our marriage has lost its essence. There is no desire between us. We are so busy that we have stopped having sex. I wanted to feel a woman at least for one night. This was just a one night stand because I craved for the pleasure, that only a woman can give,’ I said easily pouring out my thoughts. Even today, after all these years, it is as if we were back to our childhood when we shared a cotton candy under the big banyan tree.

‘Did you speak to her about this? Did you even once tell her that you miss her?’

‘No…’

Shakuntala let out a long drawn breath.

‘You should talk to her, Athish.’

It was a very simple solution, so simple that my throat went dry thinking about it.

‘Show me her picture,’ she asked with the unmistakable authority of a friend.

I showed her my family photo on the smart phone. She gazed at the picture for a couple of moments with an untold longing in her eyes.

‘She is beautiful and you have a lovely son.’

I accepted her compliment with a smile that deepened my dimple.

‘Don’t play with fire, Athish… count your blessings. You have an amazing family. Please don’t ruin it. I cannot advise you on marriage because I barely know what it means. Yet, I can tell you that you are fortunate enough to have someone whom you can call yours. I don’t even have the liberty to acknowledge my daughter. Be the hero that your son thinks you are. Tell your wife that you love her unconditionally. Everything will be fine, trust me,’ she assured.

I found an unusual comfort in her words. Only after I met her, did I realize that my life was much better than many others. So what if my marriage was monotonous and boring? I still had a family that loved me. I still had the chance to make amends.

‘Thank you, Shakuntala. Although it is unfortunate that we should meet in a situation like this, I am glad that we met.’

She smiled at me with content. It was the same smile that lit up her face years ago.

‘For once in my life, I will not regret spending a night with a man. Whenever I see kids playing on the street I am always reminded of our childhood.’

‘I really miss those days… I wish I could turn back the clock and bring the wheels of time to a stop. We should never have grown up,’ I said melancholically.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

‘Come with me, Shakuntala. I will find you a job and you can start a new life.’

She gazed long and deep into my eyes.

‘It is not so easy, Athish. Moreover I do not want to jeopardize your life,’ she said with a tear slipping down her cheek.

I wiped her tear away and tenderly held her face in my hands. I could smell the cotton candy under the banyan tree.

‘You have changed my life in this one night. I want my friend back. You deserve better in life, Shakuntala. Trust me,’ I said intensely.

For a long moment we gazed into each other’s eyes. It was a night that changed us forever but the bond we shared was still the same…