You and I, plus 2 years of marriage!

When life meets the long lost Love…

                                 

Radha sat on the beach gazing at the rolling waves relentlessly kissing the shore. So what if the shore remained untouched by the love? The waves never gave up. She took a look at her wrist watch, it showed ten minutes to six. She had to get back to the hotel before 8 pm, otherwise her husband would come looking for her. A part of her knew that this evening was going to be a big mistake. She did not have to do this but she wanted to. Her stubborn heart would not accept any lame excuse for not meeting her long lost love. She had snapped all ties with him eight years ago. Yet, all it took was just a short email and he had agreed to meet her. Dhruv, her 5-year old son was playing with his grandparents when she left the hotel room an hour ago. She had lied to her family that she was going to meet an old friend.

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to stop thinking about her family. At least not today. At least not for the next couple of hours.

‘Radha…’

Her heart did not just skip a beat, it sank to the pit of her stomach. His deep voice sent a shiver down her spine. She wanted to turn around, see him, talk to him, touch him. But her entire being froze when she heard her name spill from his lips. All she could do was just close her eyes and imprison the tears. He did not move either. Like always, he patiently waited for her. After a couple of moments, she composed herself and stood up. She turned around and stared straight into the pair of light brown eyes which owned her at some point of time. Maybe they still had an impossible claim on her.

‘Hi Keshav,’ she said with a practised smile.

‘How are you?’ he asked.

There was a subtle hint of pain in his voice which only she could recognize.

‘I’m good. What about you?’

‘I’m fine…’

Keshav could not believe that he was indeed standing before Radha. His Radha who was no longer his. She had worn a peacock blue skirt and a beige top. A matching blue stole was casually draped over her shoulders. Her kohl-rimmed eyes were arresting. She had gained weight in the right places which enhanced her lovely curves. The cool evening breeze gently teased her wavy locks. She was beautiful and his heart ached for her. His first instinct on seeing her was to gather her in his arms. Radha stood staring at the man whom she had once loved with all her heart. He was dressed in white shirt and a pair of blue jeans. His sleeves were rolled up and she instantly noticed that he was still wearing the Titan watch which she had gifted him for his 24^th birthday.

‘Do you want to walk or shall we sit down?’ he asked pulling himself out of his reverie.

‘Let’s sit,’ she said sitting down on the beach. Instead of sitting next to her, he sat down in front of her. He did not want to miss even one moment of the time he got to see her.

‘Thank you for getting in touch with me,’ he said softly.

‘I could not help it. I was coming to Chennai after so many years. We are here for my husband’s cousin’s wedding. We are leaving for Texas tomorrow evening. This city has witnessed everything between us. I could not have left Chennai without meeting you,’ she said swallowing hard.

Her voice was mellifluous. During their days of courtship he could never get enough of her endless banter. His wife too had a soft voice but not as musical as Radha’s.

‘How is life?’

She gazed hard into his eyes before answering him.

‘Life is moving on. My husband takes good care of me. He is a loving man and we have a son who turned five last month. We lead a comfortable life. Ours is one small, happy family. What about you?’

‘I married five years ago and I have a three-year old daughter. My wife is a nice lady and she is working in a software firm,’ he said with a wry smile.

There was silence between them, but it was not even in the least bit awkward. They both felt at home in that silence. Maybe the silence brought them closer than the spoken words.

‘Can I see any of your recent paintings?’ he asked eagerly.

She let out a quiet laugh and shook her head.

‘I stopped painting long ago.’

Keshav felt as if somebody had punched him in the gut. She was an amazing artist and he had always been mesmerized by her talent. He wanted her to have a comfortable life so that she could paint rather than being forced to do a mundane job. It was also one of the reasons why he had left her.

‘But… why Radha?’

‘After you left, I just couldn’t paint. My fingers no longer made love to the brush and I quit…’

‘You had no future with me. I did not even have a job. Your father was right when he said that you would have to take care of me. You would have struggled doing the job that you hated so much,’ he said passionately.

‘But I had no complaints, Keshav. I was ready to do anything for us. I could not even imagine life with someone else. Our future was not an easy battle but I was fighting to win. You simply gave up too soon,’ she said wiping away the tear that had escaped her eye.

‘I gave up because I could not see you waste your life over me. You deserved someone better. Someone who could give you the comforts that your father had given you for so many years. I was not that man for you. I left you so that you could paint, so that you could follow your heart.’

She flashed him a painful look.

‘When you left me, my heart blindly followed you. There was nothing left inside me. You bundled up everything and carried it with you. An artist rarely comes across the inspiration which fires her imagination. But when she finds one, she knows it. That fire doesn’t let her rest until it takes form as an art that touches your soul. The best of my paintings were the ones that I painted during the four years that we were together. Now, I am nothing but only a wife and a mother,’ she said turning away from him. He clenched his fist in frustration over his helplessness.

‘I thought a comfortable life was what you deserved. I thought you would eventually be happy. I know that this would make no difference but still, I am sorry for everything.’

‘We both were scared for our future, but I was confident that we could make it through. I agree that it would not have been easy but we would not have lost anything. All you had to do was to hold my hand,’ she said locking eyes with him.

His eyes were moistened like hers. For a moment that felt like eternity, they sat there gazing into each other’s eyes. Slowly, he moved forward and held her hands in his. She did not pull away.

‘Radha… trust me, if only I could go back in time, I would change everything. I would never have left you, no matter what hardship we had to face. We would have been together forever. But… that’s not possible anymore…’

A lone tear escaped her eye. He bent forward and kissed her hand reverentially. She closed her eyes letting more tears stream down her cheeks. His lips still felt familiar on her skin. It was as if she had never forgotten how it felt to be kissed by him.

‘There is no way we can go back, but that doesn’t mean we should kill the love between us. If you still value what we once shared, then you should start painting again. Only your art can keep us alive,’ he said intensely almost willing her to say yes.

Suddenly her phone beeped and she pulled away her hands from his hold to take a look at her phone. His hands missed the warmth of her touch.

‘I have to go,’ she said curtly and stood up.

He too stood up while she wiped away her tears with a tissue. She was glad that she had worn a water-proof eyeliner. Thank God, it had not smudged because of her tears. She was about to take leave when he did something really unexpected. He unfastened his wrist watch and thrusted it into her hand. She looked up at him with a hurt expression on her face. He gently closed her fingers around the watch and held her hand.

‘I will take this from you at your first painting exhibition,’ he said softly with a firm conviction.

‘Why are you so sure that I will paint again?’ she whispered.

‘Because nobody understands you better than me…’

Radha walked away holding the watch in her hand. She did not look back. Even once. Keshav stood there letting his tears join the waves…